Worst Birthday Ever
Yesterday was my worst birthday ever.It started out okay with donuts and free coffee, but quickly began to slide into misery.
Sitting in a meeting for 5 hours was not that much fun, but compared to the rest of the evening it was nirvana.
At about 2:30 in the afternoon Jenn called to tell me that Sonja was running a temp of 103 at daycare and she was on her way there to pick her up. No surprise about the temp as she had been a little warm the night before. I called and set up a quick dr. appt for Jenn to bring Sonja to at 3:30.
The Dr. gave Sonja the once over, declared she had the disease d'jour a.k.a. the crud and that we should continue treating with fluids and Tylenol.
I arrived home that evening and Sonja vomited about 6 times in an hour. So we did the good parent thing and called the dr. office. They said that protocol is any infant who is sick 6 or more times in an hour should go to the ER to check for dehydration.
So we packed up the little peanut and headed to the E.R.
The place was packed. We waited in the waiting room for about an hour before being escorted back to see some medical professionals. After a quick run through of the problem we were told that she would need a chest x-ray, a urine sample (which would involve a catheter) and a blood sample. "You're the experts," we said and they proceeded with the testing.
X-ray was great; no problem there. We happened to know the x-ray tech via my sister and things went well. The catheter, however, was a different story.
To make a long story short they were unsuccessful at inserting the catheter, but were successful at poking my daughter repeatedly and making her cry. Sadly this was just a prelude to what was to come. They gave up on the catheter and said they would be back in a few minutes to draw some blood.
First blood guy came in and began the routine of putting the rubber tie around the arm and looking for the vein in Sonja's poor little arm. He poked and prodded with his finger for a while but decided that perhaps a vein would be more apparent in the other arm. He saw something and decided to give it a go. No luck. Stick in the needle but no blood which means no vein, but sadly does not mean no pain for Sonja. He apologized and went back to the original arm to try again. No luck there either, but plenty of screaming once again. Again an apology and he said he was going to get some help and would be back in a few minutes.
We consoled our daughter and told her it would all be fine.
A few minutes later he was back with another nurse and they repeated the same routine and - no surprise - had the same results: lots of crying and screaming and poking but still no vein so no blood. Apology and again back in a few minutes with the 'expert' needle threader.
"It's okay Sonja don't worry; it's all going to be okay." Jenn and I tried to comfort Sonja.
In came the expert nurse. To attempt blood draw number five. No luck with five so she tried the other arm for poke number six. Apparently our daughter's main problem is that she has no blood in her veins... Actually the problem is she has Daddy's crappy small veins. Expert quit and said she would poke no more. Apologized and left.
A few minutes later the return of failed catheter nurse to explain that she was not just the catheter nurse but also an IV specialist and would attempt to give Sonja an IV although they didn't need an IV but they should be able to draw the blood they needed from it and if she did need fluids or antibiotics they could administer it via the IV.
Since Sonja's poor little arms had 3 holes apiece in them, she decided that her best chance for the IV was in a foot. Sadly she was mistaken. Left foot, poke, scream, cry. No blood. Right foot, poke, scream, prod, probe, and some blood but not enough, just enough blood to leave a stain on the sheet that made us feel awful. IV nurse shook her head, apologized and gave up.
In the end we were sent home with the same instructions we had when we entered the ER - continue to give her Tylenol, fluids and monitor her.
Sonja was a trooper, however, and was smiling by the time we packed her in the car seat to leave the hospital and slept soundly through the night. We got home at 1 AM exhausted and starving.
We went to bed hungry and frustrated.
Worst birthday ever...
35 and no life list
Today I turn 35. I was going to do a post about all of the things I haven't completed at this point in my life. But after about 10 seconds worth of thought. I really couldn't come up with anything.It's not that I have accomplished everything I have set out to, but more that I have never really had clearly defined goals or ambitions.
Perhaps it's my generation X showing through or maybe my Aquarius sign that has let me float down the river of life with broad reaching goals of happiness and enjoyment, of learning and understanding. I have not realized these goals, but I do glimpse them on occasion and that is good enough for me.
My life is actually pretty darn good right now. I have a beautiful and loving wife with the biggest heart in the world. I have the most beautiful daughter I could ever possibly imagine. Our friends and families live nearby (for the most part) and everyone is in relatively good health. What more could I ask for?
So to celebrate the day of my birth I have had a large depth charge light roast coffee from caribou and a six pack of Krispy Kremes...mmm mmm good. Can you say Lipitor®
Now I am off to an 8 hour meeting on the wonders of fluoroplastics.
The Scream
This is just a reminder to myself that not everything about being a dad is rainbows and unicorns. And despite the fact that this video is only 20 seconds long... the screaming continued, unabated, for 30 minutes.
Bronchitis and Urinalysis
Well I have bronchitis and am taking some antibiotics which seem to be doing the trick. I apologize to any loyal fans out there for my absence. It turns out that babies are germ laden. Who'd a thunk.
I will officially begin my career with a mega corporate behemoth that shall go unnamed (if you really want to know email me). Well that's pending the background check and urinalysis, but since I am in this country on a stolen passport and have been living under false names for the past 10 years I don't expect any trouble. Caffeine isn't a drug, right?
Small side note on the pee test, to which I am 100% morally opposed on the grounds of personal privacy, but to drive my belief home the big day unfolded thusly:
I walked into corporate medical facility and was greeted by a 4 page fill-in-the-bubbles-with-#2 -pencil form. It took me about 30 minutes to complete because (believe it or not) you had to write in your name, address and phone and then bubble in each letter corresponding to your name. I am pretty sure this was some sort of psych test to evaluate how I would fare mentally when faced with the task of completing a mind-numbingly idiotic exercise.
So I sat in the lobby filling in the circles which corresponded to each of the letters of my name and address - of course, all the while having to pee in the worst way. After all, I knew I was going to have to produce for the test so I had plenty of fluids that morning.
To recap: Filling in tiny bubbles with a pencil to let them know how to spell my name which is clearly written across the top of the form while nursing a very full bladder sitting in the lobby of corporate HQ...
Task one done. Crazy circle form handed back to admin.
Next, I was to check in at the nurses station. The nurse was nice and unassuming, the type of person who seemed to have the aloofness I think would be necessary when handling others' wee all day long. She got right to business and handed me a plastic jar with cap. Actually she handed me a large jar with cap with a slightly smaller jar and cap inside of it. The bigger jar had paper around the outside. I was instructed to take out the smaller inner container and fill it half way up and then put the lid back on and place the smaller container back into the larger container and seal that up.
This little Russian doll exercise was presumably to spare me the embarrassment of being seen walking back into to the office holding a container of my own urine. Oddly enough the bathroom was down the hall so required me to travel with my potty jar for some distance prior to returning to the office... I don't know what's so humiliating about that...
I made it back to the office with a minimal amount of mortification and handed her the jar-in-jar configuration. She explained that she was then going to empty half my wee into an even smaller plastic container which they will send to the lab where they will peer into my golden past looking for any indications of misdeeds. As she poured the liquid from one container to the next it become evident that there was a small crack in the container she was pouring my urine into. She noted this by saying, "Oh this container must have a crack because I am usually really good at transferring the specimen from one container to the other." What a great life skill to have - expert urine juggler.
She was right, however, as we both stared at the little puddle of my piddle that was now on her desk. "I am going to get another container, one that isn't cracked" she explained and quickly returned with said container. As she transferred the fluid from the cracked container to the non-cracked container things went from bad to worse.
The containers are made of plastic and we could see the crack running vertically up the side of the offending vessel. The vertical nature of this crack acted as something of a spigot as she re-transferred my urine into the better vial. So now, the puddle had grown into more of a pool. All the while I was sitting there thinking, how did we as a society ever decide that this was the best way to evaluate potential candidates for jobs?
Thankfully, the new container held steady and she was able to affix the label for the courier. I left feeling violated and relieved (pun intended) all at the same time.
The things I do for a job.
Too much for such a public blog
Too much going on in my life right now to let it all hang out. Although I do only have 12 faithful readers and the occasional wayward sitophobia Google searcher, I am still hesitant to put up a post relating to my actual life vs observations about life in general.
However... let's just say I am about to make a major career change not fully official as of yet but about 99.99% of the way there... so more to follow... I just know that some employers do blog searches prior to hiring (seems like prying to me) so I just don't want to risk anything for right now.
Risk aversion - the tell tale sign of old age.
Oh yeah, Sonja is sick again and this time daddy decided to join her right away.
However... let's just say I am about to make a major career change not fully official as of yet but about 99.99% of the way there... so more to follow... I just know that some employers do blog searches prior to hiring (seems like prying to me) so I just don't want to risk anything for right now.
Risk aversion - the tell tale sign of old age.
Oh yeah, Sonja is sick again and this time daddy decided to join her right away.
Action Chess
One of the highlights of going up to Kelly's cabin is the opportunity to play chess in the tranquility of the great north woods.
Milwaukee
Sonja had her second out of state trip and she's still just 7 months old (technically I guess tomorrow is 7 months). It was to visit Great Grandpa in Milwaukee. It was just Mom and Sonja who made the trek as I was at the previously-mentioned cabin in the great north woods of Minnesota.
Mom and Sonja both did great on the drive there and on the way back. Well... almost all of the way back. Sonja decided she had had enough of sitting in the car for 7 hours and let Mom know with her trademark SonjaScream™. This was decided with a mere 20 miles left in the journey and had the effect of fraying the last nerve of her road weary mother.
One mile to the final destination, Mom signals for the exit thinking almost home now. Just get home and the screaming will stop. As the car heads up the off ramp red warning lights illuminate the dashboard like a Christmas tree. Overheat! Check Engine! Power steering gone! WAAAAAAAAAAA aahhh WAAAAAAA! Mom manages to remain as calm as possible in this situation and guides the hobbled car to up the ramp and manages to park nearly perfectly right next to the curb prior to it finally going kaput...
Needless to say everything is now better. A phone call to Dad to pick everyone up. A call to the tow truck to rescue the vehicle. A few hundred dollars later (and a new serpentine belt and idler pulley)and even the car is better. Not the best way to come home, but home nonetheless.
Very glad to have everyone back and in one piece. Sonja is full of smiles and giggles and all is right with the world.
Mom and Sonja both did great on the drive there and on the way back. Well... almost all of the way back. Sonja decided she had had enough of sitting in the car for 7 hours and let Mom know with her trademark SonjaScream™. This was decided with a mere 20 miles left in the journey and had the effect of fraying the last nerve of her road weary mother.
One mile to the final destination, Mom signals for the exit thinking almost home now. Just get home and the screaming will stop. As the car heads up the off ramp red warning lights illuminate the dashboard like a Christmas tree. Overheat! Check Engine! Power steering gone! WAAAAAAAAAAA aahhh WAAAAAAA! Mom manages to remain as calm as possible in this situation and guides the hobbled car to up the ramp and manages to park nearly perfectly right next to the curb prior to it finally going kaput...
Needless to say everything is now better. A phone call to Dad to pick everyone up. A call to the tow truck to rescue the vehicle. A few hundred dollars later (and a new serpentine belt and idler pulley)and even the car is better. Not the best way to come home, but home nonetheless.
Very glad to have everyone back and in one piece. Sonja is full of smiles and giggles and all is right with the world.
Charlie the Unicorn
I recieved this via an email forward, it is funny and monumentally weird. View it twice because, like all truly funny things, it's funnier the second time.
Oh the hair
It's true, you have all seen pictures like this before, but I can't help myself. When she takes a nap sometimes her poor little head gets all hot and then her hair stands up just like daddy's hair.
Taking a much needed break to the cabin this weekend. Time to let the stress of daily life fade away. Nothing but clean air and sunshine... okay more likely we will be in a smoke filled bar reeking of stale beer and GPC's but at least its a smoke filled bar in the countryside vs the city.
Taking a much needed break to the cabin this weekend. Time to let the stress of daily life fade away. Nothing but clean air and sunshine... okay more likely we will be in a smoke filled bar reeking of stale beer and GPC's but at least its a smoke filled bar in the countryside vs the city.
Buddhist Thought of the Day
I am not a Buddhist, nor have I ever claimed to be. I do not chant a mantra nor sit cross-legged in front of a bowl of fuming incense. I do, however, read Buddhist thought of the day.Today's quote made me laugh and I am not sure why.
"Dissolve your whole body into Vision: become seeing, seeing, seeing! - Jalaluddin Rumi"
I think I pictured myself as an alkaseltzer™ tablet being dropped into a glass of water.
If I disolve how am I supposed to see anything? Won't everything seem all drippy?
Something to ponder anyway...
2007 is off to a bumpy start
Still getting over the RSV but seem to be feeling much better. Had a few rough nights, but we leaned on family and they helped out tremendously.
Now it's mommy and daddy's turn to be sick.
A few pictures from the last few days... many of them are cluster shots so are best appreciated in quick succession.
Enjoy!
Now it's mommy and daddy's turn to be sick.
A few pictures from the last few days... many of them are cluster shots so are best appreciated in quick succession.
Enjoy!
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