Baby name?
Okay my last post may have made it seem like we have decided on a baby name... we have not. Please help. Vote for either Josie or Maggie on the poll on the left.
Off to the hospital
We are on our way. Baby #2 will arrive today. Please send your good thoughts our way and baby's way. We have had some last minute rethinking of the name so for all of you used to Baby Josie please prepare for a possible retooling...
Oh so painful
Oldest presidential candidate ever and this is the person who would step forward to fill his seat if the need arises... Now it won't be the kids keeping me up at night
prepare for 5 minutes of a candidate who can't even effectively find the political platitudes to spout to cover the gaps in her knowledge
Sonja being silly
Momements before this video was captured Sonja said, "I got a nice haircut at that baby monkey haircut store." So proud and so profound.
t minus ?
There are currently several unknown variables in my life, both personal as well as professional. Not really sure what is going to happen at work, the group I have worked with for the past year and a half is about to undergo a major shake-up and I am not sure where the chips will fall. Stress. Baby #2 is due anytime now, this is great news, but not knowing WHEN just adds enough chaos to the daily routine that it makes all things slightly more stressful.
Then we start to move out beyond my local spheres of influence... past the families and friends which again aren't always stressful but do require a certain amount of energy in order to maintain. Past that politics... I have decided to be fully engrossed in absorbing news but in true Minnesotian fashion I choose to repress all reactions to this news. It turns out that repressing pigs, pitbulls and lipstick is libel to give one a tummy-ache. Not healthy.... then beyond that there is this The Hadron Collider Controversy
Sigh.
Life during wartime (continued)
It has been almost 2 years since I first posted a small blurb on my blog about the odd disconnect between a nation at war and the general feeling of life as usual at home.Well sadly nothing much has changed in the past 2 years. America seems bogged down by its inability to determine what we value. We fight amongst ourselves. The left and right tear each other apart and the indifferent middle shrugs and either is too dim witted to care or too busy making ends meet to engage.
Entropy: a doctrine of inevitable social decline and degeneration.
I had always pictured social decline as something that would be chaotic and tumultus but now I am starting to think perhaps it is something more insidious than that. It attacks us while we drive to the mall or watch TV. Entropy eats away at our institutions like time erodes rock into sand.
Perhaps it's just me, perhaps today is a bad day to post a 'written' blog thing. Life is generally good just stressful right now.
Anything, anything other than poop
Just to spare my loyal reader(s) from having to see the Christmas poo over and over. I figured I would just do a little post about not much.
Jenn and I have recently moved to the burbs and so far so good. The kitchen is huge and the yard is even bigger. No more airplane noise and a nice quiet cul-de-sac for the girls to grow up on. Still trying to unpack all of the boxes before baby #2 arrives. I have pretty much convinced myself that I will just be happy if we can get both of our cars in the garage.
On the work front my job is very very very stressful but in some ways rewarding. I am working with the newly formed renewable energy group so I have some feeling of doing good for the planet vs the standard I work for a large corporation that simply pillages the planets resources to line the pockets of the already obscenely rich.
Oh yeah, check out my new favorite webisode thing Dr. Horrible - best $6.00 I ever spent.
I have not golfed in 4 weeks and it will be another 10 days before I have the chance again. Really need to get out.
Well there you have it. I may have pushed the picture of poo further down the page but I think I may have replaced it with little more than a word picture of the aformentioned.
Jenn and I have recently moved to the burbs and so far so good. The kitchen is huge and the yard is even bigger. No more airplane noise and a nice quiet cul-de-sac for the girls to grow up on. Still trying to unpack all of the boxes before baby #2 arrives. I have pretty much convinced myself that I will just be happy if we can get both of our cars in the garage.
On the work front my job is very very very stressful but in some ways rewarding. I am working with the newly formed renewable energy group so I have some feeling of doing good for the planet vs the standard I work for a large corporation that simply pillages the planets resources to line the pockets of the already obscenely rich.
Oh yeah, check out my new favorite webisode thing Dr. Horrible - best $6.00 I ever spent.
I have not golfed in 4 weeks and it will be another 10 days before I have the chance again. Really need to get out.
Well there you have it. I may have pushed the picture of poo further down the page but I think I may have replaced it with little more than a word picture of the aformentioned.
Poopy in the potty
Mark this historical date on your calendars. July 27, 2008 Sonja went poopy in the potty for the very first time.
Ummm....
This will make everyone wish I only wrote and didn't post vid clips. Thanks to New 5th for finding this treat. Hang in for the headbanging finish.
Text vs Pictures
Many of my friends let me know over and over again that they don't think my blog is bloggy enough. "It's just a bunch of pictures and video clips of your daughter." they whine.
I usually respond with I don't have enough time to write... I have a 2-year old, didn't you see the pictures? But it does bother me. I used to write almost everyday on this here thing and lately I just haven't had the time. So here goes.
As some of you may know we have sold our house and are in the process of moving to the South West Burbs. This may come as a shock to many of you especially those of you who have heard me rail against the burbs and its homogeneity. There are many reasons behind this decision - none of which I will go into here. In the end it just make sense for us.
So we have been crazy busy packing and cleaning and showing the house and signing paperwork on top of a having an active 2-year old and on top of very busy times for both of us at our jobs.
We miss our friends and realize that to some of you we have been negligent. Please forgive us.
We promise that once we are in a reasonably settled to have a house warming party that will be both casual and inviting. Until then I hope you enjoy living vicariously via photos and blogs of my life... after all isn't it so much easier to watch a video clip rather than read all of this clap-trap?
I usually respond with I don't have enough time to write... I have a 2-year old, didn't you see the pictures? But it does bother me. I used to write almost everyday on this here thing and lately I just haven't had the time. So here goes.
As some of you may know we have sold our house and are in the process of moving to the South West Burbs. This may come as a shock to many of you especially those of you who have heard me rail against the burbs and its homogeneity. There are many reasons behind this decision - none of which I will go into here. In the end it just make sense for us.
So we have been crazy busy packing and cleaning and showing the house and signing paperwork on top of a having an active 2-year old and on top of very busy times for both of us at our jobs.
We miss our friends and realize that to some of you we have been negligent. Please forgive us.
We promise that once we are in a reasonably settled to have a house warming party that will be both casual and inviting. Until then I hope you enjoy living vicariously via photos and blogs of my life... after all isn't it so much easier to watch a video clip rather than read all of this clap-trap?
Golf course coyote
Apparently, the golf course we played at on Saturday thought that placing fake coyote statues all around the golf course would keep away the geese. I just found them adorable.
We are having another girl!
For those of you who didn't know, Jenn is pregnant again, and for those of you who knew this you may not of know that we are having another girl! Jenn and I are both elated. Now we just need to come up with a name. Ruth is the leading candidate for the middle name but a voting poll has been set up just on the left hand navigation of this blog so please let us know what you think... other names you like? Leave us a comment.
Wonderful email about Sonja from Jenn
"No, I'm full." (Her response to being asked if she'd like some green beans.)
"You nice boy, Daddy." (Said while patting John on the shoulder in a wonderful, surely unintended, impression of a cute little old lady.)
"MYYYYYYYYYY PARRRRRRRRRRRK!!!" (Said while crumpling in a dramatic heap on the floor at home when told that we were going to meet her friend Ellery at the park and we didn't magically appear at said park that VERY SECOND. I'm guessing she was imagining all the rival kids who were going to play with HER slides and swings etc. while we wasted precious moments putting on shoes and such.)
"You nice boy, Daddy." (Said while patting John on the shoulder in a wonderful, surely unintended, impression of a cute little old lady.)
"MYYYYYYYYYY PARRRRRRRRRRRK!!!" (Said while crumpling in a dramatic heap on the floor at home when told that we were going to meet her friend Ellery at the park and we didn't magically appear at said park that VERY SECOND. I'm guessing she was imagining all the rival kids who were going to play with HER slides and swings etc. while we wasted precious moments putting on shoes and such.)
Final Paper for Interpersonal Communication - God, Buber and Communication
A man and his wife talk about their day over dinner. A customer discusses her favorite movies with a video store clerk. A student and his professor discuss the finer points of the day’s lecture. A mother speaks lovingly to her daughter. A congregation sits quietly in the church pews singing hymns. Conversation is all around us. It ranges from the seemingly mundane to the sublime. Philosopher Martin Buber posited that within all conversations lies the potential to better understand not only ourselves and each other but ultimately God.
In communication, as it is described in our text, whether it is between two friends or between an individual and God, the same process is followed. Not only is the process important in defining how we as individuals view ourselves, our cultures, our communities our personal identities, Buber argues that divinity, itself resides in the process of communication.
I am not really sure what I was thinking when I decided that taking a closer look at Martin Buber was good idea. After picking up a few books by Buber I am struck with paralysis. Not only are some of Buber’s concepts extremely dense and complicated, his language is often unwieldy and convoluted. But there is just something about Buber’s ideas that strikes a chord with me. Strange things happen when I read his words - phrases will seem to jump off of the page and straight into my head. Somewhere, somehow, this long-dead Jewish philosopher is connecting with me.
The following except from the forward by Walter Kaufman at the beginning of I and Thou illustrates the density and complexity of the ideas presented in Buber’s work: “Not all simplicity is wise. But a wealth of possibilities breeds dread. Hence those who speak of many possibilities speak to the few and are of help to even fewer”. (p.9) Even before delving into Buber’s writing itself I had this sense of both connection and frustration.
To be honest, I do know what I was thinking when I chose this topic. I thought there were some interesting concepts in the Buber essay in our text. Specifically, Buber’s phrase “I and Thou” made me think of the word “Yahweh”, which I had a vague recollection was the traditional name of God and poorly translated as “I am who am.” This notion got me to thinking that perhaps much of what we had been studying in the text regarding interpersonal communication was somehow connected to a sense of spirituality.
My mind started making connections. In our text, we had previously studied Vygotsky and Mead’s view that identities are relational in nature (p.69). According to this view who we are is shaped in part by how we interact outside of ourselves, how we interrelate with the world. Not only that, but we can only truly achieve an understanding of who we are through these interactions.
So for me, it seems that Buber was logically taking this relational concept and applying it to notions of God and spirituality. Who I am and my ability to understand who I am is a relational construction. Buber takes this concept and expands it to include spiritual concepts. Buber is arguing that within these relational constructions the spirit of God exists. So, just as we define a community by living within it and it defines us through the same process, so God exists in a similar fashion – existing within a communal context. Hints of this idea come through in Buber’s essay in our text, “Only in partnership can my being be perceived as an existing whole” (p. 686).
Diving further into this notion by researching Martin Buber I discover that he was a Hasidic Jew. Hasidism is a sect of Judaism which is founded upon “two theoretical conceptions: (1) religious panentheism, or the omnipresence of God, and (2) the idea of Devekus, communion
between God and man. ‘Man,’ says the Besht, ‘must always bear in mind that God is omnipresent and is always with him; that God is the most subtle matter everywhere diffused... Let man realize that when he is looking at material things he is in reality gazing at the image of the Deity which is present in all things. With this in mind man will always serve God even in small matters.’” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hasidism#Religious_practice_and_culture).So how do these religious conceptions tie into communications in a real sense? Again I think Buber provides us a bridge between the ethereal and the earthy. “‘Religiousness’ is the astonished and worshipful feeling of man that above his conditionality there stands an Unconditioned whose desire is to form a living community with him and whose will he may realize in the world of men.” (http://www.religion-online.org/showchapter.asp?title=459&C=377).
The way I interpret the above is that the “Unconditioned” is God and that how we most fully experience God is through community. Again we see the notion that community is paramount in creating our relational identities.
Buber argues that what makes us truly unique as humans is our ability to strive to rise above our conditionality and to seek to connect with one another in an unconditional way. I think John Stewart touches on this idea in his outline of Buber’s essay, “Where dialogue becomes genuine, ‘there is brought into being a memorable common fruitlessness [sic] which is to be found nowhere else.” (p.684).
I have intentionally included John Stewart’s misquote rather than the actual quote of “fruitfulness” (p.694). It was actually Stewart’s misquote which helped me to better understand Buber’s meaning (never underestimate the power of cognitive dissonance!). I found myself trying to make sense of this misquote. Through this process I concluded that the quote meant that when we communicate with one another without conditions - or without expecting the conversation to bear fruit - will we truly begin to enter into an unconditional dialogue.
Despite this misquote I think I have still arrived at the heart of what Buber meant. In order for a true dialogue to take place “…the speaker does not merely perceive the one who is present to him in this way; he receives him as his partner, and that means that he confirms this other being, so far as it is for him to confirm” (p.693). The shift from perceiving a conversational partner to receiving them again resonates for me beyond this temporal existence and into the spiritual realm.
For Buber, God lives not within a static model of communication but rather within the dynamic process of communication. “God is the aim of human beings, the image that man aspires to become. It is important that human beings aspire to become, and not to be like God. A process has always priority over a static state for Buber.” (http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Ithaca/1180/buber.htm).
While it is not always easy to drop our conditioned existence and to communicate openly and honestly with one another I believe that it is important, even natural that we strive towards a higher level of communication. To rise up and reach beyond what we can easily grasp or even comprehend is a defining characteristic of humanity and although we may never fully succeed in dropping our conditional state it is a worthy ambition nonetheless. “To yield to seeming is man’s essential cowardice, to resist it is his essential courage” (p.688).
My Favorite Website
This has become my new favorite political website and the link below goes to a great article as an example:
The Carpet Bagger Report
Of course my favorite personal website remains:
A place called blog
The Carpet Bagger Report
Of course my favorite personal website remains:
A place called blog
Identities, Meaning and Metaphor
When it comes to writing papers, I am a landmine…pressure prompted. I lay around for days
until time and guilt force the ideas to explode. My words, the shrapnel of exploding ideas, radiate out from this once silent and dormant page ultimately coming to rest lodged in your mind. Once the dust settles and the ringing in your ears subsides, I hope to have left you with an indelible impression as to the power metaphor possesses.Metaphor plays a multi-faceted role in communications; it serves to illuminate conversations, provides concreteness within a world of symbols and abstraction and speaks to our own identities. I will use Gottman’s discussion of metaphors in Putting Feelings into Words to help focus on some of the ideas touched on in Constructing Identities as well as many of the concepts contained within Meaning and Values. My hope is to examine how metaphors give voice to our identities and how they can help us to explore complex and abstract ideas.
On page 67 of the text, the authors of Constructing Identities define identities and how they are created. The authors believe that identities are primarily social constructs that are created via our interactions and communications with the world around us. And since the world around us is varied and complex, our identities are made up of a multitude of roles which we utilize based on the situation at hand. I find these definitions regarding identities to be particularly cogent.
Lately I have been out of sorts. My mind quickly wanders. I find it hard to pay attention for any length of time. It’s not that I am distracted by anything. In fact, it’s just the opposite, I am distracted by nothing. I am distracted not by a specific problem or question but rather with a big amorphous question - really more of a sense of foreboding. I am coming to realize that part of what I have been struggling with is tied up with the notion of identity. Within the last 10 years I have gone from being a single college student with no job and little responsibility to a husband and a father with a real world career and real world responsibilities. In light of these changes I find that I am struggling to cope with who I am.
Constructing Identities has caused me to think about how some of our roles are ascribed and others are avowed. Yes, I have ascribed identities: father, husband, student, employee, etc. I also have avowed identities: light-hearted, kind, funny, peacemaker, liberal. And, yes, I take on different roles based on societal context, but somewhere within all of this noise is me. I am finding that the use of a metaphor to help me sort through this confusion and to make sense of my environment is exactly what I needed.
I have come to think of each of the various and changing roles that make up my identity, both ascribed and avowed, as different notes on a musical scale. My father role is a B flat while the husband me is an E. The connection between these roles is simply the movement within
the musical scale. All of the roles put together over time become the music that is my identity - sometimes discordant, sometimes melodious, but always me.According to Gottman, the above metaphor should provide you, the reader, with a glimpse into my reality (p. 265). For example, you may read the above musical metaphor and infer that my relationship with my identity is a complex one rich with tones and rhythm. Or, perhaps you may think I have a background in musical theory, or that I am a self-absorbed elitist with so much extra time on his hands that he can go around daydreaming that his life is a musical composition. Any or all of these interpretations could be correct. This imprecision is the largest weaknesses of metaphorical language – it is subject to the same encoding and decoding process that all communication undergoes. It, too, is prone to miscommunication and misunderstanding. Metaphors are incubators of ambiguity and, like incubators, they help things grow. The incubator does not care if what is growing is the virus of misunderstanding or the little baby chick of empathy and understanding.
Despite the limitation of metaphors, however, they remain immeasurably valuable for interpersonal communications. By grounding my abstract thoughts and ideas about my personal roles and identities into more concrete symbols, musical notation, the person at the receiving end of that metaphor is now better able to probe deeper into my identity. They could expand upon the metaphor to include their own identity, perhaps my sheet music is written for the violin and they could be the cello. The power of the metaphor arises out of the same thing that makes it weak: it is open to interpretation.
This sharing of abstract thoughts and emotions via a set of shared common symbols, although fraught with the risk of misinterpretation, can be the basis for linking together individuals who may share vastly different views. I would argue that metaphor is, if not the only tool available, the best tool for exploring some of the deeper questions asked within the Meaning and Values essay, beginning on page 85 in the text. Paradoxically the mechanism that makes metaphor so valuable for an infant trying to make sense of her world as she begins life is the same mechanism that we use to help navigate complex discussions about what may take place beyond our temporal existence.
The Meaning and Values essay picks up where the Constructing Identities essay leaves off. Constructing Identities shows how identities are socially constructed while Meaning and Values speaks to how we assign, or should attempt to assign, meaning and value to these identities. Indeed, the latter essay argues that identity without some level of self reflection is an empty existence and one that has become all too common in today’s superficial, materialistic society.
Perhaps my recent distraction is not merely an identity crisis but rather a crisis of meaning. Again, I find it helpful to utilize metaphor to help me communicate in more depth. For quite some time now, I have thought about life as a river. The metaphor of river and life is a powerful one for me. The power of this metaphor lies in its flexibility of meaning and ability to adapt and absorb changes and abstractions that I encounter in my life.
Say, for instance, I am experiencing the loss of a loved one. I use the metaphorical image of the river in my mind to adapt to this situation and suddenly the river becomes a shallow creek slowly mea
ndering through a parched landscape. If, however, my life is hectic and confusing the river becomes a torrent of white water and rapids. Or I can even expand the meaning of the river to include not just my life but the lives of those around me. I may be but a drop of water tumbling with the countless other drops contained between the banks of life and heading towards the unknown.This mental metaphor is one I share with those who ask, but primarily it serves as my internal touchstone. It acts as a real and concrete example that I can hang the day’s abstractions on. Just the thought of it envelopes me in a sense of calm, a sense that my life is complex yet grounded in the real. It brings me the freedom to accept change knowing that I have a mental paradigm that will contract and expand as I need it to.
I find that it is invaluable to have a solid metaphor when facing large or abstract ideas. Religion is rife with metaphors, lambs and doves and apples just for starters. Why is this? Why is it that we lean so heavily on metaphor when we explore the big questions in life? Who am I? Why am I here? A list of similar questions is found in the Meanings and Values essay. The purpose of this paper is not to answer any of the questions in the book but rather to suggest that metaphor is a tool that can be used to begin to explore these questions.
Metaphor can help frame big philosophical questions making them not only easier to understand but also opening up the door to deeper meaning. For example, if I ask myself how God fits into my life, it is helpful for me to frame this question with my river metaphor. I can view my life as the stream and the movement of the stream represents the passage of time. With a little imagination and the freedom which metaphorical thinking allows I can see my entire life from beginning to end traveling down only a section of the river and I can place God into my framework as a variety of things, from the river bed to the water itself or the air or all of the above. The point is that I can use metaphor to begin to explore thoughts and feelings that are difficult to logically order and analyze.
I hope I have demonstrated that the themes of identity and meaning discussed within Chapter Two of the text are often best examined in depth with the aid of metaphor as a tool. The dust has begun to settle now and the ringing in your ears is beginning to fade. All that is left of me as a landmine are my shrapnel words and the residue of meaning scattered amongst them.
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